5 Lies About Your Identity That the World Desperately Wants You to Believe

In a world like ours, teen girls are faced with so many opinions, declarations, and lies about our identity.  The struggle is SO real for us Christian, teen girls who are striving to lead a life that honors the Lord.  But just how are we supposed to survive in such chaotic deceit?  By learning how to discern the difference between the lies and the truth.  Today we are going to do just this to five lies about your identity that the world desperately wants you to believe.

#1  You’re not gorgeous.

These days, gorgeous pretty much means having a perfect body.  From the color and style of your hair, to the length of your nose, to how thin you are.  Now they can even measure your beauty.  Using a ratio.  Yep.  You read correctly.  I was shocked too when I read a post and watched a vlog on a Christian site called Girl Defined where they explained how it works.  They take measurements of say your forehead, the space between your eyebrows and your nose, your nose to your upper lip, and your bottom lip to your chin.  Your measurements and how close you are to the ‘perfect ratio’ is how they define how gorgeous you are.  Ridiculous, isn’t it?  However, there is some good news; we’re not defined by a math equation.  Psalm 139:14 says,

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully [emphasis mine] made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

I don’t see anything about a ratio in that verse, do you?  Of course not!  The Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God-we are His works of art!  You don’t have to live up to a number on a tape measure or a scale because you’re gorgeous and priceless just the way you are!

#2 You have to have a boyfriend.

Ok.  So yeah, most girls would like to eventually have a boyfriend because most girls want to get married someday and have a family of their own.  But the pressure to have a boyfriend even in your preteen years is absolutely terrible.  Girls, you are not defined by another human being.  I know it can sometimes feel that way.  And often we think way too much of a guy’s opinion of us.  But you don’t need any guy’s opinion.  You don’t need any guy’s approval; the Lord has already given you His approval!  He thinks you’re to die for-literally.  

Ephesians 1:4

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

God chose you for Himself even before He created the world!  Now who needs more approval than that?  And what’s more, the whole point of being in a relationship is not just to have the admiration of a guy.  It’s to find a guy who loves the Lord as much as you do and who encourages and challenges you in your walk with Christ!  Wait for someone who will rather you have a date with Jesus every day before you even think of texting him.  Use this time of your life to chase God rather than chase a guy (and this is difficult, I know, which is why you can only do it through prayer, reading scripture, and discipline), and the Lord will send you the right one in His timing.

#3 You need to have complete control over your life.

Independence.  Get away from your parents, the barriers, the accountability, and especially God.  Get a life.

How many stories have you heard of teens who fall head-over-heels with this lie and their lives were completely ruined because of it?  I’m sure you can think of numerous.  The world seems to think that being independent is pretty ‘cool’.  Doing whatever you want to do, going wherever you want to go, and always pleasing yourself.  At least that’s what they think.  After a couple of years of independence they wonder why they still feel something missing.  Why they feel so alone.  Why they feel so discontent, or why having everything is never enough.  The missing piece to the puzzle isn’t so puzzling.  It’s actually just one word and the number one thing on their list to get away from: God.  What they never realized is that they were leaving behind the one vital necessity to living life.  Without the love of Christ, you have nothing.  You are nothing.

One of my favorite songs is In Christ Alone…

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev’ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow’r of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand.

Beautiful, isn’t it?  I wish the whole world could hear this song and realize that Christ alone is all they’ve ever needed.  You don’t need independence.  We only need the saving grace of God.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


#4 You need to ignore all the other voices and follow your heart.

Now you might be a little puzzled on this one.  You may be thinking “Wait a second…shouldn’t I be following my heart because since I’m a Christian, Christ is in my heart?”.  Well, yes, in that sense.  But this is not what the phrase, ‘follow your heart’, is implying.  It really means, ‘follow your feelings’.  You see, even as born again believers, we still have a sinful flesh and nature.  Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean you’ll never sin again, but it sure would have made things a whole lot easier, wouldn’t it? 😀 But that’s not the case.  Your flesh still desperately wants you to ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit and to live for the world.  When faced with temptation, it’s that little voice that whispers “Maybe it’s not all that bad.”, “No one is watching; I can get away with it.”, or “Just this once.”.  Listen to the one that says “You know that’s wrong.”, “God is always watching.”, and “One time is enough to wreck your life.”; that is the voice you need to try to always heed.  And I say try because we’re not perfect, and we are going to sin, but you can avoid a lot of trouble and heartache if you follow God instead of your heart.  If you’re unsure of a decision, pray, study God’s Word, and seek counsel from a parent, mentor, pastor or youth director; I promise you won’t be sorry!

Jeremiah 17:9

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Proverbs 1:33

But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.

#5 You have to be a feminist.

Our culture is so twisted on this thing called feminism, and it’s absolutely disgraceful. First off, we don’t have to be a feminists in order to embrace and love being females.  We don’t need put down and disrespect males.  We don’t need to abort our children because it’s ‘our body’.  We don’t need to claim that our rights are being neglected because realistically, we have just as many rights as males.  We are the next generation of women, and I don’t wish for it to be a generation where women take the role of ‘head of the house’.  That’s not the purpose God intended for women.  We were made to respect and honor the males God has placed in our lives.  We were made to grow up to be mothers who love our children and raise them to honor the Lord and strive to help point them to having a personal relationship with Him.  We were made to be meek and gentle, but also bold and strong when the time comes for us to be so.  We are the next generation, and I wholeheartedly believe that we can be females who conduct ourselves according to God’s design (Proverbs 31).


I hope this post has helped you to identify a few of the lies the world wants you to believe and has encouraged you to seek the truth.

In Christ Alone,